A place to compile concerns Page 3

Gummybear · Oct 28, 2020

Hey everyone, I’ve been following this thread for a while now and I’d like to give my thoughts on this.
(also I wrote out this reply super late and on little sleep and so I hope people are still able to take something from it)

My history with New Dawn/Gateway

Before I talk about my opinion on all of the current issues, I feel like it’s important to provide some context. I joined New Dawn when I was fourteen during the OG Mall Lore. I spent only a few weeks on the server until ModdedTibby invited me to join the staff team. There were a lot of people who joined staff and would leave after a while, but Pika, Mindgate, Bez, and I remained pretty consistent over that time and we all became best friends who would message over Skype every day. We had tons of server issues at that time as well, but I’d say for teenagers we all handled it fairly well. I quit the server a little more than a year after I had joined, mainly because I had just entered high school and was burnt out from being an admin. I didn’t keep in touch with most of the players I had met, aside from Andrew Noah, and I figured I wouldn’t return to the server again.

As Build 41 was being showcased a lot and I was close to graduating high school, I began to think more about returning to the server. I was a little active in the discord earlier in the year and messaged some of my old friends again, like Pika and Mindgate, but I wasn’t fully involved with the community until the recent minilore. I played Toni, and although I was rusty, I still had a ton of fun with it and met some of the current players.

My experience with the current lore
Please keep in mind that for the sake of discussion I will have to clarify some lore information. This should not be a problem, because players should not metagame, to begin with. I tried to cover everything that went on this lore but please bear with me: it’s a lot.

Like everyone, I was really excited about this current lore and my first character was a lil goth girl named Juniper. At the start of the lore, Juniper and Auren Jacobs, played by Bigly Smalls, were the only characters in the Brighton faction. Under staff supervision, Bigly and I came up with a plan which fit our faction and would provide a great start to the lore: Juniper and Auren would bomb Monroe and pin it on the CPF. We used lots of systems and codes in order to do this in character, which I don’t want to reveal here because they might still be used, though it was supervised by staff closely and we were encouraged that we were doing it the right way.

Juniper and Auren successfully bombed Monroe, and our characters laid low afterward. The CPF character we had planted the evidence on had been jailed, and the plan seemed to have worked. Less than one IRL week later, however, Juniper and Auren were both arrested for the bombing – although the evidence we were given in character was outright impossible. For example, we were told that they were seen talking within Monroe walls, but that had never happened. Auren slipped Juniper a walkie talkie in the pantry when no one else was there. No one could have seen it and that was the only time they interacted inside Monroe.

The players who were involved in the initial arrest were played by admins, and the other character involved was played by the same player who played the CPF member we had pinned the bombing on. This same player was also best friends with an admin. Seeing as the evidence was far fetched, and the only people who knew our characters were even in Brighton were admins, we began to get suspicious. After a few days, El Cid and Mindgate both agreed that something may have occurred, but it was impossible to prove with just logs. In the end, Bigly and I agreed to our characters receiving a trial because we just wanted it over with, and we were reassured that it would never happen again.

I have to be vague with what follows because it’s much more sensitive lore information. Bigly and I decided at this point that even if our characters did survive the trial that their covers would be blown, and we began to make plans to retire them. However, before a trial could occur, Auren was killed – by admin characters. I was mostly uninvolved in this event, but I can say that Bigly seemed to accept it fine and that wasn’t an issue. After two IRL weeks of Juniper being in jail, and a support ticket being filed, Juniper was at last forcibly retired as she was handed off to the CPF for an off-screen trial.

At this point, the lore has been pretty annoying and I had gotten close to leaving but we decided to give it another shot. We had also gotten a huge influx of players applying as Brighton characters around this time too, including one played by an admin. We made it clear to every Brighton member that they don’t have to cooperate with how we do things, but everyone seemed to jump on board with our ideas.

My second character was Akasaka and Bigly’s was her brother, Asuka Saito. I can’t reveal more because they may return in the future or be involved in the lore going forward. I can say, though, that they began to make outposts for Brighton and gathered loot. They began to establish contact with the other Brighton characters, and based on one of these character’s information, we decided to raid a Monroe group exploring an abandoned military compound.

Nearly all Brighton players were involved in this event, and we prepared heavily. We planned on killing all the characters in the Monroe group, however, Mindgate convinced us to minimize death in order to prevent OOC drama. We had dummy accounts set up for our characters and our names were all blacked out as we prepared for an ambush.

I really can’t describe everything that went wrong, because it’s a lot. We weren’t able to ambush them before they entered because of a chat bug, and then they set off an alarm while inside which brought a massive horde of zombies. My character began to die randomly of hypothermia, and the player who was carrying the tear gas went AFK to eat a sandwich or something and died to the zombies – which then caused them to reanimate, and the tear gas zombie to be lost in the massive horde. It was a mess.

We finally found the tear gas zombie, the sandwich player returned, and I was able to not die of hypothermia. Then a second alarm went off and our characters were pushed inside the military compound. We managed to get downstairs where the Monroe group was, however, the admin who was DMing the event was new to DMing (which we hadn't been told prior) and began to spawn NPC Slavs with guns on us, who then descended from the elevator we had just come from and trapped us between the Monroe group. There were pipe bombs being thrown about, which weren’t being acknowledged, and another player who had to go offline during the middle of it because of IRL responsibilities. I was not exaggerating how much of a mess this was. In the end, we decided to retcon the event and we were told at the end, by the admin DMing, that the Slavs had only been spawned on us because we had interfered with his event. Bigly and I left the next day after providing some instructions and direction for the remaining Brighton members. I've since been told that the outposts we had initially set up have been deleted by admins although I haven't been given a reason.

A Reminder

Before I continue on, I want to remind everyone that this server means a lot to me which is why I'm taking this issue seriously. I’ve known a few members on here since I was in Middle School, and as sappy as it sounds, they have contributed to the person I am today. I understand that for recent members this is just a place where you can tell stories in Project Zomboid, but for some of us this was where we grew up and matured. Mindgate and I have talked before about how we’d like to see the server become that special for other people as well. It’s safe to say that I’d be a different person if I hadn’t written mildly erotic stories with Pika, or seen Bobith’s controversially thin meat rod. (It is thin.)

My Experience with the Staff
Considering this entire thread is focused around criticism of the staff team, I’d like to share my experience with each of them. It is not my intention with this to ostracize anyone; I'm only doing this because the staff was what caused me to leave in the first place. This deserves a serious response.

The staff that I don’t mention I either didn’t interact with much or felt pretty neutral about.

o Pika has been super friendly to me during my entire time since returning. I’m biased considering we’ve known each other for so long, but I think everyone can agree that Pika is a great admin that has always worked well with players. She’s always been heavily involved in the community and is often the one who handles character applications. I’ve never heard a serious complaint against her over the years.

Unfortunately, I do feel as though people sometimes take advantage of how kind she is. I saw it happen when we were admins, and I’ve seen it happen this lore. I understand, as a player and a friend of Pika’s, that she needs to get involved in these situations because she’s an admin, but I do hope that she either finds people who don’t use her or becomes stronger in that way.

o Vio/a rabbit and I have only interacted a bit. He was an active player a few years back and he’s always cut the crap and spoken straightforwardly, which I can really look up to. He also DM’d the minilore earlier this year, which I think he handled perfectly. I’ve never had a problem with Vio and I think he’s a great admin. (Plus I like his voice)

o El Cid (El Erp) has handled all of my major concerns this lore and we’ve talked a lot. I was going through a lot of stress because of the server at one point and I told him I was overwhelmed and I was considering leaving. He calmed me down a lot, and I’ve always viewed him positively since then. He didn't need to do that as an admin but chose to as a person and I can respect that.

However, despite my relationship with him, I don’t think his initial responses to this thread were well thought out. I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt here, though, just as he’s done with me, and say that although his response may have come across poorly, he was likely overwhelmed with the work and drama it could bring. He’s very old, and has old person responsibilities, and may not have realized how bad his responses could come across. I believe that El Cid does want to see the server improve, but I think it would be for the best if he cooperated with players more.

o I haven’t had a good experience with Hostie/Fantasia. Bigly and I suspected that she might have covered up rule-breaking related to Juniper and Auren being jailed, and as we were talking to Mindgate about it she joined in and reacted defensively about it. While that's an understandable reaction, we were talking privately with Mindgate and bringing up our concerns, she did not need to intervene let alone when she was that emotional about it. Bigly and her fought for a while, and her outburst really didn’t help ease our concerns. I’ve since tried to apologize to her through DMs and offered to make an official ticket where we could work things out, however, she insisted that we were out to get her. She would make a lot of passive-aggressive comments about us in discord after that and seemed to hold a personal grudge. I’ve also heard her mock other people’s roleplay in the VC before, which is unacceptable for anyone to do much less an admin. Server business aside, I actually really got along with Hostie and we’d joke around a lot in the VC. I don’t know why she reacts the way she does to server issues, but I don't think it's healthy for her or the community.

o It’s difficult to summarize how I feel about Mindgate. As I’ve said, we were close friends a few years back and I’ve considered him a friend since I’ve returned. We talked super often about server issues, lore questions, cat photos, tv shows – anything. I would always message him or Pika if I had any kind of issue. One morning, after being in VC for about nine hours straight, we talked about how much has changed for the better on the server. I’m as close to Mindgate as I am to Pika, and that’s why it’s not easy for me to admit that I don’t think he has a positive impact on the server.

Every concern that I would raise with him I was told would be handled or would change, and it wasn’t. I was told that faction chats would be made private to prevent admins from metagaming, and they weren’t. I was told that admins would be dealt with after the way they’ve acted towards me and other players, and they remained on the team and didn’t reach out to talk about it. The majority of his reassurances and promises were not carried out or followed up on.

Mindgate has talked in this thread about how players need to accept when their characters fail, and he has promised that things will change. I don’t think anything will change, because I’ve been told by Mindgate, just like many players on this server in the past that things would change and they never have. He says that bias is not given to admin characters and that certain rules are not in place for xyz but will stretch the rules when it suits his friends' characters or his own.

When I left the server last month and talked with him about how I thought there is corruption in the staff team he told me that they aren’t paid and can do as they please, and I believe the admins have made that clear with how they’ve dealt with this thread. I don't think Mindgate is a power-hungry monster, but I do think people might be more afraid to criticize him, which is why I wanted to share my thoughts.

Overall

Admins are not paid and they don't have an obligation to help us, but by becoming an admin you are agreeing to the extra workload. If you are unable to do that, then you need to stop being an admin. The few people who responded to this thread saying that they pay for its upkeep more than other people didn't seem to take any of the complaints seriously. Of course, we appreciate that, but that does not entitle you to break the rules or receive any sort of preferential treatment not covered in the donation perks.

I have screenshots for what I've said and can upload them if people want to see them, publicly or privately. It may take some time to dig through all of them but I will do it if it helps clarify or backup anything I’ve said. If we are going to improve as a community then people need to be held accountable and to the same standards as everyone else. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Thank you for reading.

player of games · Oct 28, 2020

At the end of the day, and I know I havent been around much lately or anything, this community is a collaborative writing experience. Everyone is a part of the story and we're all trying to write a good one, together. It's easy to forget that people with the admin tag on the forums are actually human beings that are part of said collaborative project too, but they are - they're not really out to get you, but they can clearly be hardheaded and stubborn just like the rest of us. Trying to make everyone happy and make the server as a whole an enjoyable experience is a stressful job, so maybe we should start just cutting each other some slack and appreciating the effort put in from all sides. Let's all just chill out a bit and enjoy roleplaying with each other in a 2d zombie game like we have for years, cause all the server really boils down to is what you make of it. You can choose to look into everything and see every fault and mistake as a personal attack or you can just roll with the bumps and have a good time with your friends - that's just my view, anyway.

world peace 2020

Atlas · Oct 28, 2020

As the person who plays all three characters involved with the Juniper situation, Noelle, Lorelei and Elijah - I figured it’d be best for you to find out my side of all of this.

Gummy, I do hope you know I consider you a good friend of mine. I loved Juniper and she still continues to be a driving force in Elijah’s character development. She was a beautiful and original character that I genuinely loved to get online for.

The way they connected Juniper to Auren was through me, more or less. And though you may not remember it because it was a single emote. One single “sup nod” as I remember writing it, Elijah entered through the front door of the community kitchen while Auren and Juniper were sitting there. Auren was sitting in the seat at the counter and Juniper stood in front of him. Elijah walked through to the back of the kitchen, and when he came back out, Juniper had left. There are server logs that can in fact back me up with this.

At the time, he didn’t think anything of it. Nothing. Just Juniper being friendly to some old man. But, when Elijah was questioned about Juniper because of the nature of their relationship it was something he had brought up because he’d never saw the man before that and never saw him again after.

Elijah drew Auren from memory and gave the drawing to one of the heads. (Elijah is known for being an artist.) The information that was gathered to begin to suspect Auren and Juniper before that was never truly revealed to him. I still OOCLY don’t know. But, this was what was presented to me and what I ran with as my character would have done it.

Please know that Elijah did not do it with the intention of hurt Juniper. He actually was adamant that they protected her. He, and I, still ask REGULARLY what happened to her.

Moving on to Lorelei - This just seemed to be an unfortunate character career choice. As I said above, I still OOCLY don’t know why they were after Auren or Juniper (I genuinely don’t remember) but I do know Lorelei did what was required of her as Monroe’s Deputy. Lori did not just randomly arrest him. It was planned. She was given a job. And she did it. Nothing more, nothing less. This had nothing to do with OOC influence or anything regarding my relationship with the admin team. I sure you can understand that my character who was a cop being told to arrest a suspect in the town she is meant to protect by her boss is not so far fetched.

And finally, on to Noelle -

Noelle getting framed was probably one of the coolest things that have happened to me on the server. Annoying. But, cool. It made me feel like my character had been written with enough impact that I could be apart of something bigger. So, I thank you for that. You could of picked anyone else. I’m glad it was me. Especially after she was staying with a convicted criminal. Good choice.

I could have been a lot more angry about what happened but I wasn’t. And I definitely was not angry enough to metagame on other characters. Do I understand how it all seems? Yes. Absolutely. I probably would think the same.

But, I ask that you take what I have to say into the same consideration as I am with yours.

Noelle is a character I was incredibly excited for. A legacy character that derived from another character I lost way too soon. But, with power comes consequences and that is what happened with her. She was not careful enough and all hell broke loose.

I was unable to play her for I believe 3 weeks IRL due to her being in prison. I hated it, but I lived with it.

When Noelle was released, she returned to Pittsford and has not been back since. I retired Noelle because she was so afraid of Monroe after that that she would not come back. Sometimes plans for characters just don’t work out the way you expected and that’s unfortunately what happened with this character. But, how it came to be was all fair. You both did everything correctly there.

This was not all a ploy to hurry up and get Noelle out or anything of the sort. This wasn’t me trying to exact revenge. It wasn’t anything of the sort.

At least for my end, I just ran with the information I was given ICly and reacted exactly how my characters would. And if that lessened your roleplay experience, I am so so sorry.

This is only my first message regarding everything going on in this thread, and I’ll move to my next one.

Gummy and Biggly, if you still want more of an explanation on my part - my discord is Etsuko#0666. Feel free to reach out and message me to communicate.

Pika · Oct 28, 2020

I have yet to say anything in this thread other than my okay to let it happen. That's mostly because I was incredibly overwhelmed yesterday, and still am. There is so much happening and things are being thrown around back-and-forth. There's really only one thing I wanted to address that hasn't really been already. Definitely not from my perspective.

Jiiigen said
I just wanted to say a few things that Jonah has stated to me himself, beginning with Pika being harassed.

He admitted that he did get heated with Pika when things got tense a few days earlier, however, he apologized for being emotional and she accepted that apology. Since then, he has cut off communication with Pika. He and Pika were good friends from the way he spoke about her.

I have never personally said that Jonah was harassing me. Yes, he was emotional. Yes, he unloaded a lot onto me. That's honestly no different than a large number of players, though. People take advantage of my kindness and go to me for everything because they know I'll be more lenient. This has been an ongoing issue for years and is by no means something only Jonah has done. I don't have the courage to speak out myself, and so other admins have had to speak on my behalf (MindGate, Cid, Formerly Atlas, etc.)

Jonah was my good friend. I honestly want to say he still is, but I know that isn't true. We cut off the majority of our communication two days prior because he was uncomfortable with us being close friends when I'm an admin. I guess In a way I haven't accepted everything yet? When he messaged me asking for a reason as to why he was banned, I did write up a response. I had taken some time to calm down and think beforehand, though, and by the time I went to send it, I was blocked.

Jonah has made me angry. Jonah has stressed me out. Jonah has caused me so much grief over the time I've known him; however, I really do try my best to conduct myself calmly and professionally, always. Getting emotional and going off as one of the Senior Admins isn't going to help anyone. I have had nothing but calm conversations with him in our DMs/in-game when he's broken a rule or something has upset him.

All I ask is that if you all have any issues with me personally, please bring them to my attention. I have absolutely slipped up at times and made mistakes, but chances are I won't know unless you let me know. I do love this community, and I hate to see it torn up like this.

Atlas · Oct 28, 2020

I’ve sat down at my computer for this one and I’m not exactly sure where I’m supposed to start. There’s been a lot aired, a lot of concerns, and a lot of things I’ve realized my hand was directly in. And it shouldn’t be.

I’ve taken the night to sleep on everything going on and finally feel as if I’m in a position where I can reply with a calm perspective and look at everything from a different point of view rather than the one I have shadowed by my own experience.

The first thing I’m going to say is that I’m sorry.

Many of my opinions do happen to be based on my own experience. And if I was naive, I’d say that it didn’t have anything to do with my relationships with the members of Gateway staff. There are those on the team that happen to be an incredibly large portion of my day to day life and I’m sorry if those relationships have been presented as unfair to the rest of the community. That was never the intention. These relationships did not blossom with the idea of me getting ahead somewhere. These are people I love and care for. That I trust with every last bit of myself. I now understand that my relationships with these individuals allow for me to get more of an ear for my concerns and more compassion.

In what I wrote in my post to Gummy, I did say that my character actions are never influenced by my outside relationships and I swear by that. If you have a problem with something that my characters have done to you ICly during this lore, please come forward and message me privately so we can discuss this and work it out. My discord is Etsuko#0666. You can also message me on the forums here.

Gateway in my own experience has been the one solid place I’ve had in the last two years. And to see it come under fire the way it has as of the last few months, I find myself becoming more and more defensive. In my eyes, everyone was trying to destroy the thing I loved so much.

Now that I’ve looked at it more clearly, that isn’t what’s happening. I’ve realized that if the rest of you did not share the love of Gateway to the same capacity that I do then these concerns would not be brought up. You also want to be here and share the experience. If not, you would have left and wiped your hands of it. The saying “They always come back” has never been more true than it is here.

The one thing that I believe we can all agree on is that this community has a place in our hearts that will never be replaced.

I think that is something that not only I, but the admin team is overlooking as well. I know what I’ve said about everything going on and this is me coming out to say that I was wrong.

Do I still believe many of you could have gone about this in a much different way (apart from this thread)? I absolutely do.

Do I believe that there was quite a bit of metagaming going on because people did not like the way things were going? Yes. I do.

Do I believe that it can be worked on and fixed? Yes.

In the last two years I’ve spent here, I’ve realized that the common theme for most of us is that we have something in our lives that we need to get away from. For me, it’s my health. Here, I get to pretend to be whoever I want to be when I sign in. I am no longer sick. I am just Dev. And I get to let my creativity run free.

I’m now realizing that not everyone shares this experience. And that isn’t fair.

I spoke with someone from the server who means quite a bit to me yesterday and he told me that just because someone doesn’t share the same feelings as I do doesn’t mean their feelings aren’t real.

But, while I say this, I believe there needs to be more understanding from both sides. Admins can not cater to every idea that pops in your head but they do genuinely want the best for the community and will do what they can to help you. And admins need to take a step back to look at things from the position of a player. There is no one right way here. On either side.

As for my own conduct as of lately, I will apologize for that as well. I have taken the stress of my real life and mixed it with the going ons on the server when I should be using this as a way to escape. This has caused me to lash out at people and be generally unpleasant which I believe no doubt ruins the experience for others.

The last thing I ever want is for someone to feel as if they are unable to speak or participate due to my presence or actions. The world does not revolve around me. And it is a harsh lesson to learn.

While I will not change the positive relationships I have with people on this server, I can be more understanding of how others feel and how I would feel if it were me and vocalize it.

I urge that you all utilize this thread to help Gateway become something that we all can be proud of and continue this lore and move into B41 smoothly as a whole. Change can not come if it isn't brought entirely to the attention of those in power.

If you’ve taken the time to read this, thank you. And if you have anything you’d like to discuss with me regarding my characters, my conduct, or how I may have made you personally feel - my discord and forum messages are open.

El Cid · Oct 28, 2020

Just wanted to comment on your post here real quick Gummy. Firstly on the part you mention about changes and not seeing any changes, especially on Minds part. A lot of folks talk to Mind directly, and he brings many things to our attention in admin chat and directly to me. But in the end, and I have told this to him as well, I want him focused on the lore and doing things with the players. It's not ultimately up to him whether the changes get made or are consistently enforced, especially in regards to the admin team or myself. That's on me.

For my own part, I feel like I *do* listen to players and try to make changes, but often times I feel like what is perceived as 'stubbornness' on my part is me trying to balance the scales between two opposing parties with very different views on a subject. As you said, I do have old man duties IRL, so at times, I am not always around enough to monitor things closely enough or lose track of something over time, although I do try my best. Sometimes change happens slowly, but there are things we've implemented to try and make things better.

Having said that, I acknowledge that I can be stubborn sometimes. Mind is not shy about telling me when I'm doing so or flying off the handle once in a while. At the same time, no one should feel scared to bring issues up about Mind or any other staff member. While I, or the team, may not end up agreeing with you, I promise I wouldn't let any type of retaliation happen, not that I think Mind or members of staff would do anything like that personally.

On Pika, pika is great and is indeed very nice. However, people do take advantage of this (whether they mean to or not) and she seems to be the first person that people go to when they're upset. Sometimes pika is also too nice to call things as they are, and when I feel like that happens, as I mentioned when explaining things about Jonah's ban, I think it's my obligation to step in for her. This doesn't mean pika is weak, she is very strong in fact, but sometimes we all need help.

Vio's voice is sexy, I agree.

On Host, she is a co-owner and she and I talk in private as well. I prefer to keep those conversations private, as we are both co-owners and there is private information there as well. I will say she does want the server to improve as well, but I will let her respond for herself if she wants to.

As far as the rest of the team in general, I would just say please keep in mind that PZ mechanics are shit most of the time. When things are going haywire on an event, it's extremely difficult to keep track of it with PZ limitations. Of course, that doesn't mean there's room for improvement. There's *always* room for improvement in anything.

To that end, I know Mind had a number of chats with people last night, getting input and ideas, talking things out with other admins and has some items we're going to go over once we have a chance to recharge our batteries. I am hopeful these will produce some changes that will help everyone who brought up complaints feel better about the situation and push us all to a more positive place in general.

Finally, a big up yours to you Gummy for calling me old! :P

Gummybear said
Hey everyone, I’ve been following this thread for a while now and I’d like to give my thoughts on this.
(also I wrote out this reply super late and on little sleep and so I hope people are still able to take something from it)

My history with New Dawn/Gateway
Before I talk about my opinion on all of the current issues, I feel like it’s important to provide some context. I joined New Dawn when I was fourteen during the OG Mall Lore. I spent only a few weeks on the server until ModdedTibby invited me to join the staff team. There were a lot of people who joined staff and would leave after a while, but Pika, Mindgate, Bez, and I remained pretty consistent over that time and we all became best friends who would message over Skype every day. We had tons of server issues at that time as well, but I’d say for teenagers we all handled it fairly well. I quit the server a little more than a year after I had joined, mainly because I had just entered high school and was burnt out from being an admin. I didn’t keep in touch with most of the players I had met, aside from Andrew Noah, and I figured I wouldn’t return to the server again.

As Build 41 was being showcased a lot and I was close to graduating high school, I began to think more about returning to the server. I was a little active in the discord earlier in the year and messaged some of my old friends again, like Pika and Mindgate, but I wasn’t fully involved with the community until the recent minilore. I played Toni, and although I was rusty, I still had a ton of fun with it and met some of the current players.

My experience with the current lore
Please keep in mind that for the sake of discussion I will have to clarify some lore information. This should not be a problem, because players should not metagame, to begin with. I tried to cover everything that went on this lore but please bear with me: it’s a lot.

Like everyone, I was really excited about this current lore and my first character was a lil goth girl named Juniper. At the start of the lore, Juniper and Auren Jacobs, played by Bigly Smalls, were the only characters in the Brighton faction. Under staff supervision, Bigly and I came up with a plan which fit our faction and would provide a great start to the lore: Juniper and Auren would bomb Monroe and pin it on the CPF. We used lots of systems and codes in order to do this in character, which I don’t want to reveal here because they might still be used, though it was supervised by staff closely and we were encouraged that we were doing it the right way.

Juniper and Auren successfully bombed Monroe, and our characters laid low afterward. The CPF character we had planted the evidence on had been jailed, and the plan seemed to have worked. Less than one IRL week later, however, Juniper and Auren were both arrested for the bombing – although the evidence we were given in character was outright impossible. For example, we were told that they were seen talking within Monroe walls, but that had never happened. Auren slipped Juniper a walkie talkie in the pantry when no one else was there. No one could have seen it and that was the only time they interacted inside Monroe.

The players who were involved in the initial arrest were played by admins, and the other character involved was played by the same player who played the CPF member we had pinned the bombing on. This same player was also best friends with an admin. Seeing as the evidence was far fetched, and the only people who knew our characters were even in Brighton were admins, we began to get suspicious. After a few days, El Cid and Mindgate both agreed that something may have occurred, but it was impossible to prove with just logs. In the end, Bigly and I agreed to our characters receiving a trial because we just wanted it over with, and we were reassured that it would never happen again.

I have to be vague with what follows because it’s much more sensitive lore information. Bigly and I decided at this point that even if our characters did survive the trial that their covers would be blown, and we began to make plans to retire them. However, before a trial could occur, Auren was killed – by admin characters. I was mostly uninvolved in this event, but I can say that Bigly seemed to accept it fine and that wasn’t an issue. After two IRL weeks of Juniper being in jail, and a support ticket being filed, Juniper was at last forcibly retired as she was handed off to the CPF for an off-screen trial.

At this point, the lore has been pretty annoying and I had gotten close to leaving but we decided to give it another shot. We had also gotten a huge influx of players applying as Brighton characters around this time too, including one played by an admin. We made it clear to every Brighton member that they don’t have to cooperate with how we do things, but everyone seemed to jump on board with our ideas.

My second character was Akasaka and Bigly’s was her brother, Asuka Saito. I can’t reveal more because they may return in the future or be involved in the lore going forward. I can say, though, that they began to make outposts for Brighton and gathered loot. They began to establish contact with the other Brighton characters, and based on one of these character’s information, we decided to raid a Monroe group exploring an abandoned military compound.

Nearly all Brighton players were involved in this event, and we prepared heavily. We planned on killing all the characters in the Monroe group, however, Mindgate convinced us to minimize death in order to prevent OOC drama. We had dummy accounts set up for our characters and our names were all blacked out as we prepared for an ambush.

I really can’t describe everything that went wrong, because it’s a lot. We weren’t able to ambush them before they entered because of a chat bug, and then they set off an alarm while inside which brought a massive horde of zombies. My character began to die randomly of hypothermia, and the player who was carrying the tear gas went AFK to eat a sandwich or something and died to the zombies – which then caused them to reanimate, and the tear gas zombie to be lost in the massive horde. It was a mess.

We finally found the tear gas zombie, the sandwich player returned, and I was able to not die of hypothermia. Then a second alarm went off and our characters were pushed inside the military compound. We managed to get downstairs where the Monroe group was, however, the admin who was DMing the event was new to DMing (which we hadn't been told prior) and began to spawn NPC Slavs with guns on us, who then descended from the elevator we had just come from and trapped us between the Monroe group. There were pipe bombs being thrown about, which weren’t being acknowledged, and another player who had to go offline during the middle of it because of IRL responsibilities. I was not exaggerating how much of a mess this was. In the end, we decided to retcon the event and we were told at the end, by the admin DMing, that the Slavs had only been spawned on us because we had interfered with his event. Bigly and I left the next day after providing some instructions and direction for the remaining Brighton members. I've since been told that the outposts we had initially set up have been deleted by admins although I haven't been given a reason.

A Reminder
Before I continue on, I want to remind everyone that this server means a lot to me which is why I'm taking this issue seriously. I’ve known a few members on here since I was in Middle School, and as sappy as it sounds, they have contributed to the person I am today. I understand that for recent members this is just a place where you can tell stories in Project Zomboid, but for some of us this was where we grew up and matured. Mindgate and I have talked before about how we’d like to see the server become that special for other people as well. It’s safe to say that I’d be a different person if I hadn’t written mildly erotic stories with Pika, or seen Bobith’s controversially thin meat rod. (It is thin.)

My Experience with the Staff
Considering this entire thread is focused around criticism of the staff team, I’d like to share my experience with each of them. It is not my intention with this to ostracize anyone; I'm only doing this because the staff was what caused me to leave in the first place. This deserves a serious response.

The staff that I don’t mention I either didn’t interact with much or felt pretty neutral about.

o Pika has been super friendly to me during my entire time since returning. I’m biased considering we’ve known each other for so long, but I think everyone can agree that Pika is a great admin that has always worked well with players. She’s always been heavily involved in the community and is often the one who handles character applications. I’ve never heard a serious complaint against her over the years.

Unfortunately, I do feel as though people sometimes take advantage of how kind she is. I saw it happen when we were admins, and I’ve seen it happen this lore. I understand, as a player and a friend of Pika’s, that she needs to get involved in these situations because she’s an admin, but I do hope that she either finds people who don’t use her or becomes stronger in that way.

o Vio/a rabbit and I have only interacted a bit. He was an active player a few years back and he’s always cut the crap and spoken straightforwardly, which I can really look up to. He also DM’d the minilore earlier this year, which I think he handled perfectly. I’ve never had a problem with Vio and I think he’s a great admin. (Plus I like his voice)

o El Cid (El Erp) has handled all of my major concerns this lore and we’ve talked a lot. I was going through a lot of stress because of the server at one point and I told him I was overwhelmed and I was considering leaving. He calmed me down a lot, and I’ve always viewed him positively since then. He didn't need to do that as an admin but chose to as a person and I can respect that.

However, despite my relationship with him, I don’t think his initial responses to this thread were well thought out. I’m going to give him the benefit of the doubt here, though, just as he’s done with me, and say that although his response may have come across poorly, he was likely overwhelmed with the work and drama it could bring. He’s very old, and has old person responsibilities, and may not have realized how bad his responses could come across. I believe that El Cid does want to see the server improve, but I think it would be for the best if he cooperated with players more.

o I haven’t had a good experience with Hostie/Fantasia. Bigly and I suspected that she might have covered up rule-breaking related to Juniper and Auren being jailed, and as we were talking to Mindgate about it she joined in and reacted defensively about it. While that's an understandable reaction, we were talking privately with Mindgate and bringing up our concerns, she did not need to intervene let alone when she was that emotional about it. Bigly and her fought for a while, and her outburst really didn’t help ease our concerns. I’ve since tried to apologize to her through DMs and offered to make an official ticket where we could work things out, however, she insisted that we were out to get her. She would make a lot of passive-aggressive comments about us in discord after that and seemed to hold a personal grudge. I’ve also heard her mock other people’s roleplay in the VC before, which is unacceptable for anyone to do much less an admin. Server business aside, I actually really got along with Hostie and we’d joke around a lot in the VC. I don’t know why she reacts the way she does to server issues, but I don't think it's healthy for her or the community.

o It’s difficult to summarize how I feel about Mindgate. As I’ve said, we were close friends a few years back and I’ve considered him a friend since I’ve returned. We talked super often about server issues, lore questions, cat photos, tv shows – anything. I would always message him or Pika if I had any kind of issue. One morning, after being in VC for about nine hours straight, we talked about how much has changed for the better on the server. I’m as close to Mindgate as I am to Pika, and that’s why it’s not easy for me to admit that I don’t think he has a positive impact on the server.

Every concern that I would raise with him I was told would be handled or would change, and it wasn’t. I was told that faction chats would be made private to prevent admins from metagaming, and they weren’t. I was told that admins would be dealt with after the way they’ve acted towards me and other players, and they remained on the team and didn’t reach out to talk about it. The majority of his reassurances and promises were not carried out or followed up on.

Mindgate has talked in this thread about how players need to accept when their characters fail, and he has promised that things will change. I don’t think anything will change, because I’ve been told by Mindgate, just like many players on this server in the past that things would change and they never have. He says that bias is not given to admin characters and that certain rules are not in place for xyz but will stretch the rules when it suits his friends' characters or his own.

When I left the server last month and talked with him about how I thought there is corruption in the staff team he told me that they aren’t paid and can do as they please, and I believe the admins have made that clear with how they’ve dealt with this thread. I don't think Mindgate is a power-hungry monster, but I do think people might be more afraid to criticize him, which is why I wanted to share my thoughts.

Overall
Admins are not paid and they don't have an obligation to help us, but by becoming an admin you are agreeing to the extra workload. If you are unable to do that, then you need to stop being an admin. The few people who responded to this thread saying that they pay for its upkeep more than other people didn't seem to take any of the complaints seriously. Of course, we appreciate that, but that does not entitle you to break the rules or receive any sort of preferential treatment not covered in the donation perks.

I have screenshots for what I've said and can upload them if people want to see them, publicly or privately. It may take some time to dig through all of them but I will do it if it helps clarify or backup anything I’ve said. If we are going to improve as a community then people need to be held accountable and to the same standards as everyone else. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Thank you for reading.

MrMischief2015 · Oct 28, 2020

Why does 'who pays for what' matter? All I've seen here is gaslighting. This is a place to list concerns, not bash either party for what THEY'VE done wrong. These are valid concerns that need to be looked into. ESPECIALLY when it comes to the high importance of Admin Characters. I understand they may be important to a story, but they shouldn't be able to survive things that other players would easily die of.

We should be working together. To FIX this, to properly take a step back and look at every single concern. Because it isn't one person bringing it up, its multiple people. And it warrents some attention. The most we get out of one side bashing the other, and this back and forth. Is absolutely nothing, and further plants the seeds in the minds of those upset that this IS a 'Player VS. Admin' scenario. Let's try to fix this before there's nothing left.

Fantasia · Oct 28, 2020

I don't put the importance of my characters above anyone else's. For god's sake, all three of my characters are totally and utterly unimportant to the story in the entire scheme of things; yes, even Marian who only became Head of Security, if you remember, because other people besides myself killed Charles since he went crazy. I didn't -want- to be head at all. I was content being deputy.

I totally agree with wanting to work together but it's been difficult when false accusations are thrown around, there's misinformation and lies being spread, and no one wants to listen to either side, including the admins. I won't lie when I say that I take my reputation seriously and hearing people call me a liar or saying I have the audacity to metagame or cover up things that happen ic pisses me off to no end. It's a videogame. I do not invest myself in any game enough to be that petty.

MrMischief2015 · Oct 28, 2020

I was not referring to your character in question. Nor was I referring to you in question. There are multiple parties that are being spoken about if my eyes don't deceive me. And when it comes to lies being thrown around I think some can say the same.

There is a LOT of distrust in the air. Multiple players have gone on Hiatus due to this, and how they feel. This isn't calling out one individual, this is an issue I've also seen cropping up. Its multiple people.

Like I said, we need to work together and stop bickering and fighting. And telling one another what 'I DO' for the server and what 'I DON'T' do. We ALL need to take a step back, and work together. Otherwise we're going to unfortunately have long lasting damage. That isn't a threat or a promise. Its an unfortunate reality.

player of games · Oct 28, 2020

MrMischief2015 said
I was not referring to your character in question. Nor was I referring to you in question. There are multiple parties that are being spoken about if my eyes don't deceive me. And when it comes to lies being thrown around I think some can say the same.

There is a LOT of distrust in the air. Multiple players have gone on Hiatus due to this, and how they feel. This isn't calling out one individual, this is an issue I've also seen cropping up. Its multiple people.

Like I said, we need to work together and stop bickering and fighting. And telling one another what 'I DO' for the server and what 'I DON'T' do. We ALL need to take a step back, and work together. Otherwise we're going to unfortunately have long lasting damage. That isn't a threat or a promise. Its an unfortunate reality.

he gets it

Fantasia · Oct 28, 2020

I was giving a general response to multiple posts since the last time I said something on here, including to you so it's gonna look confusing. Some parts are relevant to you, others are relevant to others.

MrMischief2015 · Oct 28, 2020

That is completely fair. Yet we need to work together instead of blowing up on one each other. Everyone, Admins and Players need to step back and take a moment to see how bad the damage is.

Pika · Oct 28, 2020

Pika again. It's come to my attention that some logs have leaked from the admin chat last night of a conversation between us and Azakaela.

Here are the logs in question:

MindGateToday at 6:33 PM
I have no obligation to tell you why, or when I'm canceling your event. I am the loremaster of this lore, I wrote the fucking shit and I will very much cancel what I want, when I want, because it is MY lore.
Because you're not fucking accepting your share of the blame, Aza. You're immediately going into someone's DMs and screaming at them about how we're out to get you.
You are making this about you.
You had a bad day.
Great, I GET THAT. Guess what?
ALL OF US
Have had bad days
Me,
Pika
Host
Cid
Everyone in this fucking chat has been dealing with this for hours.
If you can't get past that
Leave the fucking team and take your mods, because I'm not sitting here and listening to you go around here like this.
I've been nothing but respectful toward you

AzakaelaToday at 6:34 PM
Can't you take a step back and try and empathize with me

MindGateToday at 6:35 PM
Have you made any attempt to do that wit hus?

Hostie gonna RoastieToday at 6:35 PM
Oh my god.

MindGateToday at 6:35 PM
No, you haven't.
You put a lot of thought into this event, but you disrespected me and every single person on this team.
I'm asking you, back off and chill the fuck out.
I told you the event is POSTPONED.

AzakaelaToday at 6:35 PM
you said it was cancelled

MindGateToday at 6:35 PM
Jesus Christ.

MindGateToday at 7:05 PM
look
aza im not in the mood to argue about this. they weren't approved initially to begin with, matter of fact, i made a concerted effort to explain the exact reason why i didn't want you doing them, i said it was fine because i was trying to adapt around it since you'd done so many of them prior and it was impossible for me to go around asking people to void stuff happening to their characters, people are saying too many events are happening rapid fire, i've received comments of this from Kai, too. so, the event is cancelled going forward, it will probably happen at a later date, but that's how it is right now. i'd step back from this right now, with the amount of drama going on.

AzakaelaToday at 6:36 PM
You know

MindGateToday at 6:36 PM
. so, the event is cancelled going forward, it will probably happen at a later date, but that's how it is right now.
"happen at a later date"

AzakaelaToday at 6:36 PM
I don't like being yelled at
I just
?

VioToday at 6:36 PM
lmfao

MindGateToday at 6:36 PM
Get the fuck over it. I don't care, you've been sitting here in Pika's DMs yelling the fuck at her.

Hostie gonna RoastieToday at 6:36 PM
I don't like it either but honestly, you're not even looking at our SIDE OF THINGS

MindGateToday at 6:36 PM
This is ridiculous, Aza.

Hostie gonna RoastieToday at 6:36 PM
Don't dish it out if you can't fucking take it.

Now, obviously, this looks bad. Very bad. I'm sure many of you have read this and immediately came to the conclusion that we went off on Aza for no reason. That, however, is simply not true. I want to be as transparent as possible with all of you so that you can get the full story here.

Here is the full conversation regarding the events in the admin chat:

MindGateYesterday at 5:55 PM
Okay so, real quick
@Admin
We're canceling the event Wednesday.
We'll do it at a later date.
We don't need anything other than the main story going on right now.
Anyone object to this?

El CidYesterday at 5:56 PM
no objections here
it seems like one of the valid suggestions we've heard is there's too much at once right?

pikaYesterday at 5:56 PM
I already told Aza to postpone it anyway.

El CidYesterday at 5:56 PM
i think I read you said that somewhere

pikaYesterday at 5:56 PM
So nope.

MindGateYesterday at 5:56 PM
On that note, too. I don't want ANY of you doing events, not one, no visions, no pirats, no anything. @Lil Bit You're exempt to this; feel free to continue with your passive stuff with The Goat Monster/Hattie and so on. None of yours have been antagonistic as far as I can tell.

pikaYesterday at 5:57 PM
Yeah, Cid. I completely agree with that feedback.

MindGateYesterday at 5:57 PM
If I catch anyone else up to anything with events of that caliber, there will be consequences.

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 5:58 PM
I don't do anything anyway.

El CidYesterday at 5:58 PM
ahh GI Joe, how I loved your action figures

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 5:58 PM
Because I already GM for half the admin team every Sunday. ?

pikaYesterday at 6:00 PM
Jfdkkfskkfskkfkdkg
I am too busy building blackridge to do events, if i even did any anyway

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 6:48 PM

Welp
Is anyone gonna like
Talk to me?
Hm?

El CidYesterday at 6:59 PM
i'm semi-here, kids stuff. What's up?

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 6:59 PM
I'm a little frustrated

MindGateYesterday at 6:59 PM
[LINK]
@Vio @El Cid @Pika @Hostie gonna Roastie
Please read this and let me know if it's okay to post.

pikaYesterday at 7:07 PM
I'm not even done, but it looks very very good to me
Now that I am finished, it's even more good
Max! Acted! In! Character!!!!
She's dumb but she's not valuing a girl she's been dating for 2 months over her best friend of 5+ years
Sorry not sorry

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:10 PM
?
Ya'll, I think it's pretty cool of you to just cancel my shit without so much as sending me a dm

MindGateYesterday at 7:11 PM
aza
i don't know if you've noticed
we've been dealing with this for hours on end
your event is a side event, and you've made numerous things i have SPECIFICALLY asked you not to do

VioYesterday at 7:12 PM
currently reading

MindGateYesterday at 7:12 PM
so if you want to get into the idea of what's cool, and what isn't
we'll get into that
i have been very nice to you in DMs and i tried to adapt around your additions to not shut down things but seriously?
don't come in here with that attitude.

El CidYesterday at 7:12 PM
a.) yes looks good min
d

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:13 PMs
You know what
if you're gonna treat me this way

El CidYesterday at 7:13 PM
b.) Aza, we've got a shit storm we've been dealing with all day. So...
things change on the fly sometimes

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:13 PM
I could just take my mods and leave if you don't l;ike what I've been doing ?

El CidYesterday at 7:13 PM
Now that. Is uncalled for Aza.
I don't appreciate threats like that.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:14 PM
I'm not threatening you

El CidYesterday at 7:14 PM
"i could just take my mods and leave"?

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:14 PM
I'm like crying right now
I worked really hard, no ones communicating with me
I had a really bad day at workj
and everyone is fucking mad at me
I feel unwanted

MindGateYesterday at 7:14 PM
We've all had a bad day.
I communicated with you.

El CidYesterday at 7:15 PM
Aza this isn't about you. We're dealing with a lot of server drama and I wasn't mad at you at all until you came in hot like that

MindGateYesterday at 7:15 PM

AuthenticAzakaelaToday at 6:50 PM
ugh so we're canceling my event
?

MindGateToday at 6:55 PM
yes

AuthenticAzakaelaToday at 6:55 PM
k,ghjfdsza
WHY

MindGateToday at 6:59 PM
Because people are complaining about the amount of events and visions occurring.

AuthenticAzakaelaToday at 7:01 PM
where are they complaining about visions I want to see
I had good feedback this is unexpected to me :/

MindGateToday at 7:02 PM

A place to compile concerns

There’s currently a lot of fear that feedback won’t be received, that the team may hold personal resentments towards the base, or even get defensive as a result. I think that this has had a negative impact on the OOC environment here. I think we should make an effort to prove that this isn’t...

gatewayroleplay.org

AuthenticAzakaelaToday at 7:02 PM
I'mma level with you
I had a really bad day at work
and this is a lot to sift through
I don't see any mentions of my visions

MindGateToday at 7:05 PM
look
aza im not in the mood to argue about this. they weren't approved initially to begin with, matter of fact, i made a concerted effort to explain the exact reason why i didn't want you doing them, i said it was fine because i was trying to adapt around it since you'd done so many of them prior and it was impossible for me to go around asking people to void stuff happening to their characters, people are saying too many events are happening rapid fire, i've received comments of this from Kai, too. so, the event is cancelled going forward, it will probably happen at a later date, but that's how it is right now. i'd step back from this right now, with the amount of drama going on.

AuthenticAzakaelaToday at 7:08 PM
... ok
I'm just gonna like
actually cry.

this is literally where i just communicated this to you, in DMs.

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:20 PM
@AuthenticAzakaela we do appreciate what you do. I love your mods, I love what you've been able to do with your intelligence and creativity. We are all having a very stressful, bad day and we are not intending for this to feel like it's being taken out on you because that's not what this is about.

What this is about is events that players just seem to be tired of right now. Half of Monroe is hospitalized and the constant dangerous monster events are getting tiresome from what we've been hearing.
So whether it's one you had or Holt or anyone else, we're easing off on the dangerous events for a bit.
Considering all the stress and strain things are under in terms of the player and admin team relationship, I do kind of agree with them. Not that I've been there for many of the events but there's been a lot of the combat events and not so much MG's main story events which, as far as I'm aware of, are not as combat oriented. I could be wrong. Correct me if I am because I've been on break for a long time.
MindGate does have a thing for explosions

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:26 PM
Ya know

pikaYesterday at 7:26 PM
Here's an excerpt of my talk with Five.
[IMAGE]

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:28 PM
One of the reasons I try not to dm anything on this server because I don't want to add more work or confusion for players or the other members of the team, personally.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:28 PM
I haven't been pushing monster events
I got this one thing with the mantids

pikaYesterday at 7:28 PM
I feel the same as the others Aza. We love all the work you do, you just have to make sure to get everything okay'd by Mind first. Throwing a bunch at the players can confuse and overwhelm them, just like Five expressed here.

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:28 PM
Has anyone else been throwing monsters at them besides the mantids and the trullans?

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:28 PM
I feel like yall are pushing blame at me.

pikaYesterday at 7:29 PM
Here's this as well
[IMAGE]
We aren't pushing the blame on anyone.

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:30 PM
I think Five's idea of two events/storylines at a time sounds good to me ngl. Again, that's just me and Hostie is ah... Hostie.

MindGateYesterday at 7:30 PM
It's not a bad idea at all and something I've toyed with
I've run two events since coming back though
The uhhh
the one where they went to the miller base to rescue hostages
We were originally gonna have a few people go to Monroe while they were ther & trade horses.

pikaYesterday at 7:31 PM
I think by events she meant like. Two big story things. So Lil's monsters and then the bombing are two.

El CidYesterday at 7:31 PM
lil's monsters are benign though right? ie not combatish?

pikaYesterday at 7:32 PM
Yeah, but players can get overwhelmed by all this lore stuff at once

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:32 PM
Yeah, if they're benign, I don't see the harm in them being in the background.

pikaYesterday at 7:32 PM
I don't mind them either though
Just limit the super major stuff

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:33 PM
So it could just be the mantids and MG's main story line. I don't know how long the mantids thing was supposed to be though. ??‍

El CidYesterday at 7:33 PM
as someone who has been repeatedly head butted in the groin by lil's goats, i should say they are not benign lol

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:33 PM
shhh

MindGateYesterday at 7:33 PM
In the past week:

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:33 PM
goats
are sweet

MindGateYesterday at 7:33 PM
We've had / Fighting the Behemoth, Fighting the Trullan, and soon, we're gonna be fighting the Mantids ...
While
Holt has run a Davy Crockett; some skeleton terminator-ish cybernetic zombie thing.
AND
on top of that
all of the visions from The Night Eye, which has apparently happened to five people prior to me learning of its existence.

VioYesterday at 7:34 PM
and also millers and me blowing up the jail

MindGateYesterday at 7:34 PM
And then, visions from me--who is playing the main antagonist which we're supposed to be focusing on building.
And then the main arc.

VioYesterday at 7:34 PM
but the jail was all just me as a player, not plot related
but i think it was taken as plot related

pikaYesterday at 7:34 PM
Yeah ghfjdsk that was a player thing
We can't limit player stuff. I encourage that
See, when you lay it all out like that Mind, it's a lot

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:35 PM
it is a lot, yes.

MindGateYesterday at 7:36 PM
And to add this, while I'm at it

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:36 PM
It's like we're trying to cram an entire two months worth of story into 1 week.

El CidYesterday at 7:36 PM
which is why everyone should be running things past mind

MindGateYesterday at 7:36 PM
our plans going forward was:
Wednesday Event - a player is going to be abducted by a horde of baby mantids, dragged back down into the caverns, where they will fight upwards to 40+ mantids, and have to destroy all the eggs (which they absolutely won't without is nudging them in the right direction)
which means, there will be MORE mantis events, as you mentioned in your thing.

pikaYesterday at 7:37 PM
That's HEAVILY combat-oriented, after all these other back-to-back combat events (either outright combat-oriented or made combat-oriented by the players themselves.) It's too much right now. We can do it, but we need to hold off.
Plus, a good amount of people are hurt. Who's really going to go there?
The logical decision is to recover, then get back into the action. ?

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 7:38 PM
I haven't hurt a single player ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MindGateYesterday at 7:38 PM
I don't care.

El CidYesterday at 7:38 PM
that's not really the point here. its the threat of it and possibility of it

Lil BitYesterday at 7:51 PM
I don't mind holding off on the forest monster, benign or not
If they're feeling overwhelmed

MindGateYesterday at 7:54 PM
You may want to, I don't mind them still. I think you've done a great job managing her thusfar, Lil.

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 7:57 PM
@Admin Also if you could. Please refrain from rping as Nurse Joy as she is a silly little NPC I made only for occasional med rp because we had no active doctors in the past. I know she's the best 86 year-old woman you've ever seen but please, boys, gals, and non-binary pals, restrain yourselves. ?

MindGateYesterday at 8:28 PM
@AuthenticAzakaela I'm going to tell you this right now, Pika has had nothing to do with your event being canceled and I'm asking you to quit messaging her with complaints in the method you're doing. If you have problems you can take them up with me. This is getting old, all of you, as admins, should know better. This is meant to be a team, and all of this shit going around behind the scenes and complaining to other admins is old. If you can't conduct yourself and realize when something is personal and when it's not, there's the door. That's the end of it. I've been nothing but respectful to you, in specific, Aza but you need to take a serious step the fuck back and calm down.
I love your mods and you as a friend, but I am not going to let them hold bearings on how I'd react to any other admin doing what is being done right now.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:30 PM
I just DO NOT understand why I have to take a fall for everyone elses shortcomings
and why
I had to find out
the way i did

MindGateYesterday at 8:32 PM
Has anyone deliberately said it was your fucking fault, Aza? You disregarded a direct INSTRUCTION from me. I told you NOTHING Like the Night Eye. Straight up, full stop, I left NO room for discussion over it and that is on YOU, Aza. YOU went behind my back. YOU did it and YOU need to own up to it and back the fuck off.
You messaged me and asked what happened, I told you in a respectful matter and your immediate response was to complain and try to argue with me.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:32 PM
you sure are blaming me a lot

MindGateYesterday at 8:33 PM
I have no obligation to tell you why, or when I'm canceling your event. I am the loremaster of this lore, I wrote the fucking shit and I will very much cancel what I want, when I want, because it is MY lore.
Because you're not fucking accepting your share of the blame, Aza. You're immediately going into someone's DMs and screaming at them about how we're out to get you.
You are making this about you.
You had a bad day.
Great, I GET THAT. Guess what?
ALL OF US
Have had bad days
Me,
Pika
Host
Cid
Everyone in this fucking chat has been dealing with this for hours.
If you can't get past that
Leave the fucking team and take your mods, because I'm not sitting here and listening to you go around here like this.
I've been nothing but respectful toward you

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:34 PM
Can't you take a step back and try and empathize with me

MindGateYesterday at 8:35 PM
Have you made any attempt to do that wit hus?

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 8:35 PM
Oh my god.

MindGateYesterday at 8:35 PM
No, you haven't.
You put a lot of thought into this event, but you disrespected me and every single person on this team.
I'm asking you, back off and chill the fuck out.
I told you the event is POSTPONED.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:35 PM
you said it was cancelled

MindGateYesterday at 8:35 PM
Jesus Christ.

MindGateToday at 7:05 PM
look
aza im not in the mood to argue about this. they weren't approved initially to begin with, matter of fact, i made a concerted effort to explain the exact reason why i didn't want you doing them, i said it was fine because i was trying to adapt around it since you'd done so many of them prior and it was impossible for me to go around asking people to void stuff happening to their characters, people are saying too many events are happening rapid fire, i've received comments of this from Kai, too. so, the event is cancelled going forward, it will probably happen at a later date, but that's how it is right now. i'd step back from this right now, with the amount of drama going on.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:36 PM
You know

MindGateYesterday at 8:36 PM
. so, the event is cancelled going forward, it will probably happen at a later date, but that's how it is right now.
"happen at a later date"

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:36 PM
I don't like being yelled at
I just
?

VioYesterday at 8:36 PM
lmfao

MindGateYesterday at 8:36 PM
Get the fuck over it. I don't care, you've been sitting here in Pika's DMs yelling the fuck at her.

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 8:36 PM
I don't like it either but honestly, you're not even looking at our SIDE OF THINGS

MindGateYesterday at 8:36 PM
This is ridiculous, Aza.

Hostie gonna RoastieYesterday at 8:36 PM
Don't dish it out if you can't fucking take it.
I have tried so hard to be nice.
I try always to be so nice
but you're yelling at people in DM's and I'm not fucking having it.
MG's not having it.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:38 PM
I have done literally so much for you guys

MindGateYesterday at 8:38 PM
Fantastic, Aza. We've thanked you, that does not obligate me to sit here and kiss your ass because you're upset you had a bad day.
I've straight up spoke with you in DMs and told you that your mods are good, and that you're talented
But do not even think for a minute that is going to make you exempt from any other thing the other admins would be faced with.
You are not the lore master.
You are not a senior admin.
You are an admin, and you are expected to follow the responsibilities that every other admin follows.
Simple as that, full-stop, no other discussion needed.

As stated, I previously told Aza she should postpone her event. We decided to officially postpone it last night (although it is now cancelled due to her departure from the team.) Was the aggressive behavior of the other admins called for? No. It takes a certain amount of pushing and shoving to reach that point, however.

This is a conversation between MindGate and Azakaela last night:

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:36 PM
Mindgate. Level with me here. We've had a bit of time to cool down. I want to talk to you as a friend now.

MindGateYesterday at 9:36 PM
What's up?

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:36 PM
I just
I feel like what I was doing was okay, and that you were okay with it. I wasn't giving big lore reveals or anything of the sort, I was just giving tours of the cave I built
Which I might add
Took a long time to make
So that is why, I am/was upset my event was canceled without so much as a ping
postponed
or whatever
you know what I mean
BUT
I digress. I know it's your lore, and I've only ever wanted to help you explore it more and add to it in the least destructive way possible
So I feel like the way you and the rest of the team have been talking to me/treating me is kinda unfair
I've been getting dm's all night
of people who are concerened and shit, people who want to quit, move on to another server, etc
But everyone of them have told me that they had no problems with my events

MindGateYesterday at 9:40 PM
Aza.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:40 PM
So what do we do

MindGateYesterday at 9:41 PM
We're not doing anything. I'm not un-cancelling it, we're easing up on events, period. This is not about you as a person, or the work you've done. I respect that much, but I'm not overturning my decision. I have had people tell me otherwise, I'm not naming names for those people because that is not fair to them and messaging people about that it is also not good. Listen, I'm not mad at you and wasn't to begin with, but the way you conducted yourself in the admin chat and in PIka's DMs was unacceptable and I think you know that. When we cancelled it, I was busy, I was handling twelve other things and then you messaged me and I let you know what happened, why it was happening, and for what reasons. That is where it should've ended.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:42 PM
I understand
but
pleaseeeeeee

MindGateYesterday at 9:42 PM
But, regardless of what you felt, it was wrong. I told you that.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:42 PM
nevermind
you're just gonna take a tone with me
I don't even want to bothe

MindGateYesterday at 9:42 PM
You're putting something where there isn't anything.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:43 PM
Listen, it's like this
I give my time freely, and I assume that you all like me. I'm [REDACTED].
I love you guys
But
It feels like you don't reciprocate that
O
I'm being torn a thousand different directions
some people want me to pull my mods and leave
And lemme say this real quick
before you respond
give me this
I love you man

MindGateYesterday at 9:45 PM
Ok.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:46 PM
You gave me one of the best character arcs, one of the most important things that ever happened in my life
You know
I don't wanna give up like this
But I seriously feel like people are talking down to me, and like
not respecting what I do. I'm not asking for ass kissing
just... respect.
and like, I feel like I should have a little leeway in expressing myself.

MindGateYesterday at 9:50 PM
So, I'm going to tell you this:
I'm done with this, Aza. I have been nothing but nice to you in every discussion we've had. But you're threatening me, and you're threatening the team. I have told you ten times the event is not cancelled, and is postponed.

You keep bringing up the fact that you have all of this going on with you, and I'm aware of that, but it doesn't pertain to what is going on. Here, I'll give you some of my problems too, [REDACTED]. You're not the only one dealing with shit IRL. I recognize your problems, and I'm sympathetic to them.

This is my issue, though, you're sitting here bringing this up to me as if it should change anything. You haven't approached me as a friend in both cases, and have instead went around my back twice and even went to players. Why? Can you not understand that this is not personal? If you viewed me as a friend, you would look at what I have told you, move on, and do this event at another date. Simple as that, you've had plenty of leeway in expressing yourself, and you're acting like we're cutting you down anytime you say something. You know that isn't true, all of us have went out of our way and have returned the respect that you say you aren't getting. I don't know what you want from us. You value me, or anyone else as a friend on the team? You'll step back for a bit, understand our predicament --
and let us continue on at a later date.
Your event will happen, I just cannot see it happening this week. Past that, I'm sorry. It's not my fault that this has cropped up in the last night.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:52 PM
I'm not trying to like, one up you

MindGateYesterday at 9:52 PM
You aren't going to one-up me, I asked you not to do something and you did it. That's it, Aza.
It isn't your responsibility to run these events.
I don't care if you do, and ask to do them, but past that.
I have this position for a reason.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:53 PM
I feel like we're not talking about what I was wanting to talk about. I had something in mind, and you have something else in mind, and it's like we're on two different tangents here.

MindGateYesterday at 9:53 PM
Aza, I'm literally responding to what you're asking me.
You said we don't give you respect, you asked me to reconsider, and you said you deserve leeway in expressing yourself.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:54 PM
I didnt ask you to reconsider

MindGateYesterday at 9:54 PM
I acknowledge what you're saying, I don't agree with you. I do give you respect, if I didn't, you wouldn't have an event approved in the first place.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:54 PM
I'm totally fine with postponing

MindGateYesterday at 9:55 PM
You are able to express yourself, I've never said anything to the contrary--I asked you to go through the proper channels, and you didn't, you made a mistake. Holt has, Jack has, Host has, Cid has. All I'm asking is that you go through the proper channels before continuing. That's it.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:56 PM
I think you have a lot on your plate and there must be a better way to get these sorts of things clarified.
I didnt think it was wrong of me to show a vision
I'm sorry.
Later you told me that it was okay in some way, so I didn't know I had done anything wrong until today
So.
...
I don't wanna fight ?

MindGateYesterday at 9:57 PM
I'm not fighting you, I'm just explaining the situation.
Aza, I'm not even mad, I was irritated that you handled that how you did with Pika, and I think you owe her an apology.
But, let me show you what i'm referencing.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:58 PM
I reached out to pika cuz she's the only one on the admin team who talks to me like a friend
Everyone else talks down to me

MindGateYesterday at 9:58 PM
I do not talk down to you.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:58 PM
I feel like you don't get to say that
I perceive things the way I do.

MindGateYesterday at 9:59 PM
Irileth = Denied.

Reasoning: - I am not looking to introduce anyone with such abilities, especially in a role where they will effectively die immediately. It will lessen any further impact wherein a main antagonist may be factored in with similar abilities. Additionally, I do not want to add anything definitively "mystical" or "supernatural" into the lore at this moment in time. What we have done thus-far has been vague, and done within logic set in stone by the world of What We Become itself.

Now, I'm aware that this isn't directly Irileth. But, in spirit, it is the same character. I denied it.
Aza, you can feel however you want, that doesn't make it fact.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 9:59 PM
You're doing it right now

MindGateYesterday at 9:59 PM
No, I'm not agreeing with you. That's it.
Talking down to you is not disagreeing with you.
I disagree with you, I think I show you an outstanding amount of respect. I speak with you daily, I consult you regularly on ideas for event, I try to help you with stuff with your events. It doesn't come up then, when you're in a good mood, all I know is now it's coming up.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 10:01 PM
One sec.
I dunno. I just feel like y'all always take this tone with me like I'm some sort of immature child
And I'm sick of it
Im 29 years old
I have been [REDACTED] and just plain old dragged through the waters and I just wanna be able to express myself and shit. When I do im told I have to go through these hoops. I do. But I'm met with a lack of communication and understanding and its very frustrating.
So today, I was at work
And i got held there for 40 minutes past my shift end
And i was met with the manager yelling at me at the end
Then i came home to the thing I had been looking forward too all week and all day just being postponed
No one said sorry
I saw more accusatory stuff about me posted and got tons of dms
And it was overwhelming
But i was met with more like .... hostility than anything else
I couldn't express my dissatisfaction or disappointment
It was emotionally trying.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 10:54 PM
I deleted my mods off of steam and left the server .
Bye.

MindGateYesterday at 10:54 PM
Okay, I'm sorry it ended that way, Aza.
Wish you nothing but the best.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 10:55 PM
It didn't have to end that way but I'm sorry it did too.
Wish you luck on your server.

MindGateYesterday at 10:55 PM
You're right, it didn't have to end that way.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 10:56 PM
I can always reupload, but if you guys are gonna treat me the way you did, I don't want to be involved anymore.

MindGateYesterday at 10:57 PM
No thanks, I appreciate your work but if you're going to hold it over our heads and attempt to threaten us into bending to your will, I'm not interested.
I've not treated you anyway.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 10:59 PM
I'm not threatening you, I just don't want to work for people who don't value my creative input

MindGateYesterday at 10:59 PM
Aza.
If I messaged you and said I was pulling every single bit of my shit from something like, say, your radio mod.
You'd say the exact same thing.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 11:00 PM
What do you want me to do
Undelete everything
pretend like nothing happened?

MindGateYesterday at 11:00 PM
I'm not arguing with you anymore. I value your creative input, but you have no right--at all--to be taking this method or tone with any of us. We've been nothing but polite to you, we've been through the fucking ringer today and all you've done is come at us hot. Nonstop.
NOTHING HAPPENED.
I POSTPONED YOUR FUCKING EVENT AZA
THAT'S IT
JESUS CHRIST
DO YOU REALIZE YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL OF THIS OVER A ROLEPLAY COMMUNITY?
YOU'RE ACTING LIKE I'M FUCKING ATTACKING YOU

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 11:01 PM
I'm letting go.

MindGateYesterday at 11:01 PM
Whatever, go.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 11:01 PM
You're not attacking me
I'm just tired of feeling like shit for no reason

MindGateYesterday at 11:02 PM
Okay, I know that Aza. I don't want you to feel like shit. I've told you that, I have literally been here for you numerous times. But you're making me out like I'm your enemy.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 11:02 PM
You're not
I already told you
I love you
I just can't do this anymore
I dunno
it's still fresh
I can undo it
But I'd need serious counseling
I am not in a good place right now
downright suicidal ?
That's why I decided to pull the mod
and myself
cuz this is ridiculous

I've removed the incredibly sensitive personal information, though it doesn't take away much from the conversation

Here's a conversation Aza and I had shortly before her conversation with Mind:

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:23 PM
. . .
Why don't you guys treat me with any respect?
I busted my ass building and planning and doing foreshadowing and got tons of good feedback
And you just cancel my event cuz apparently I"M THE PROBLEM
WITHOUT SO MUCH AS EVEN DM'ING ME
I legit came home from a horrible shift at work to this, and I CRIED
Ya'll aren't even fuckin' sorry
All the time I spent building that stupid cave, programming stupid mods and doing all sorts of things
I just feel like you don't give a damn about me
I dunno, I just feel like leaving
But apparently I'm "making it about me"

max ?Yesterday at 8:43 PM
Aza, you're taking this the completely wrong way. We love your mods and everything you do for the server. You are not the problem. We discussed before that it may be best to postpone the event because of the state the players are in. Now they've outright stated that everything is too much, and we as admins need to take a step back. That means postponing your event until later. Maybe next week, or the week after. It is not cancelled, and we are not discounting all of your hard work.

I feel bad. Trust me, I do. I am so empathetic that even the thought of annoying someone can bring me to tears. I know you've had a bad day. All of us have, too. That doesn't make any of our feelings less valid. But I mean this in the nicest way possible when I say this is not an attack on you, and you need to stop making this all about you.

Mind is obviously putting all of this far blunter than I am, because that's how he is as a person. All of your work is appreciated. We just need you to understand that the server is going through a rough time right now, and it's more important than ever to communicate these things with MindGate and get them explicitly approved before going forward. This isn't just you—other admins do it too.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:44 PM
I dunno I should just leave
I thought you were my friends
but
I don't feel that
I just feel like a burden now
and I'm tired of being yelled at

max ?Yesterday at 8:45 PM
We aren't going to force you to stay. You can do whatever you'd like. I do think that everyone is in kind of a bad mental state today, though, and we all just need to take a step back and chill for a bit. You aren't a burden, I promise.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:46 PM
ya'll are just making me feel like shit
like I can't do anything right
apparently
so
I dunno
I just need to take a break
All I wanted to do was gm a fun a little event where players could feel like monster fighting badasses
but
whatever
God
I got misgendered by everyone today
and I dealt with so many rude customers
and my manager fucking flipped shit at me
cuz I got frustrated that I was held late for 45 minutes

max ?Yesterday at 8:50 PM
Aza, it's not healthy to be thinking that way. I know it can be hard not to, but. It isn't good. You can do things right. You haven't done very much wrong. The things that you have done wrong are incredibly minor, but it can be hard to communicate that to you sometimes. If you think you need to take a break, absolutely do that. Put your own mental health first. That is always the most important thing. Just please know that this is Not. An. Attack. On. You.

AuthenticAzakaelaYesterday at 8:50 PM
cuz I wanted to come home and like
play, with ya'll
and I come home to this shit
and
?
and it's like all my hard work just got thrown out the fucking window
and all I got to look forward too is ... work

max ?Yesterday at 8:51 PM
Again, I know you've had a bad day. All of us have, though. That doesn't make our feelings any less valid.
It hasn't though, because you can still do the event. Later, though.

Here is a message I sent in the admin chat this morning summarizing the events leading up to Aza quitting the team:

pikaToday at 11:01 AM
@Jack Rogers Aza left of her own accord. We did not boot her from the team. Like Lil said, she continuously went against the admin rules.

The issue really stems from Friday's event, though, where her character Whisper was standing on top of 5 sticks of old dynamite and they went off. I ruled that Whisper only lost a leg, to be lenient. Just like Texas, she should have died. Both only lost one limb. Aza was upset and was convinced it was a personal attack on her and kept going off in my DMs asking why we hate her so much and how we could possibly do this to her after everything she's done for the server.

She was also upset that Mind, the Lore Master, wanted to add the dynamite to her build at the last minute. The intention was to drive more RP, which it did, but not in the way anyone anticipated. That's solely the fault of the players.

She had an event planned for tonight. I said she should probably postpone it because of the state the players were in IC. She was very upset by that. She said she took the day off work for it and that, again, we don't respect her or her work. She wouldn't accept anything else.

Last night we said she absolutely needs to postpone it. We're postponing Saturday's event too. The whole server is a mess. She had a meltdown in the admin chat and then proceeded to DM me asking, again, why we all hate her and are treating her this way. I was very calm with her and told her she needs to follow the rules just like every other admin. Her mods do not give her an exception. It didn't help. Then, Cid and Mind called her out for using me as an emotional punching bag, as she does frequently, and she threatened suicide to Mind if we didn't go her way.

She left because she felt hated and disrespected. Chances are we would have booted her for the sake of her mental health because she's currently not mentally fit to be an admin. I've been booted for the same thing in the past.

And last, but certainly not least, here are logs from earlier today after Aza learned I'm making my own mod:

AuthenticAzakaelaToday at 3:36 PM
. . .
I know what you're doing, and I'm not cool with you taking my assets -- Or my code.
? ... I have no words, okay -- It's incredibly disrespectful to everything I did and how hard I worked for all of you.

max ?Today at 3:41 PM
I'm planning on making all new NPCs because I don't want to use your assets. I'm just testing things right now. The monster images aren't yours though, right? I don't think they are, at least.

max ?Today at 3:51 PM
Oh I just saw your edit. I'm not taking your code, either. I've been typing all of this out on my own for the past ~14ish hours on-and-off. Stealing code/art/anything is bad. I looked at it among other online PZ modding tutorials to see how to add in an item, but otherwise it's all original.
Also, I really hate to be blunt, but you need to stop with the guilt tripping, Aza. ?

AuthenticAzakaelaToday at 3:54 PM
I hate to be blunt but ya'll stabbed me in the back and think it's cool to just replace me. Keep your shitty server, I'm never coming back or doing anything for you or the others ever again. I find out you used any of my code and your mod is getting reported.

There are obviously far more logs, but these are the highlights from the past two days.

Overall, Aza wanted preferential treatment as an admin when it came to her player character, and constantly demanded validation from her fellow staff members. When we didn't comply, she would guilt trip us (as seen above.) She held her mod above our heads as if it gave her more power than any other admin on the team. While Aza's work on the server was heavily appreciated, it's best if we part ways.

MrMischief2015 · Oct 28, 2020

She only seemed to have guilt tripped you after being yelled at over the fact she was upset her event was canceled and announced without giving her a heads up. You are right this does make you look bad. And I hope Aza is okay ?‍

you guys just went into her without seeing it from HER perspective. People weren't angry over the number of the events or visions. People were upset due to how for two events it was a suicide mission dotted with explosives everywhere with little to no reward. Almost half the players that went to that warehouse were stuck in MedRP. With some of them being horribly maimed. All while the players were blamed for things going wrong. When the first NPC is running away and nobody could catch them. Then when it came down to having a plan made. We were rushed, and blamed for how poorly it went. For explosives not even mentioned in the 86/100 scout roll. Im sorry but this just validates the concerns I've seen.

Roflmaozors · Oct 28, 2020

Hey guys, I'd like to clarify something here in that little event with the dynamite. We had previously gone into this cave before and found no dynamite -- and from what I understand it was Azakaela's event in the first place and she just entrusted you to handle the combat portions. Yes, we OOCly talked about this because we had it announced as an admin-assisted player event. There wasn't meant to be any dynamite allegedly there but it's fine. I and the rest of the players have already accepted the consequences of the aftermath of the explosive devices despite the fact that it was not intended to be there according to the event planner who, in my opinion, is understandably upset why her and other characters were exploded that night.

Here was the catch, however... Shortly after. One of the players had a player knock out an admin player character and left them behind so that preferably they would get hurt/killed by leaving him behind in the cave-in. This is also one of our grievances here and I think MG is actually going to come by soon and explain exactly why this happened. However, I will also pitch in. What transpired after that allowed this character to survive was very easily perceivable as favoritism which is why I believe our concerns as presented were valid concerns. It is vague, however, I am trying to not go too deep into this. I'm already discussing with MindGate through steam about this situation and he will go over it more in detail shortly.

MindGate · Oct 28, 2020

MrMischief2015 said
She only seemed to have guilt-tripped you after being yelled at over the fact she was upset her event was canceled and announced without giving her a heads up. You are right this does make you look bad. And I hope Aza is okay ?‍ you guys just went into her without seeing it from HER perspective. People weren't angry over the number of the events or visions. People were upset due to how for two events it was a suicide mission dotted with explosives everywhere with little to no reward. Almost half the players that went to that warehouse were stuck in MedRP. With some of them being horribly maimed. All while the players were blamed for things going wrong. When the first NPC is running away and nobody could catch them. Then when it came down to having a plan made. We were rushed, and blamed for how poorly it went. For explosives not even mentioned in the 86/100 scout roll. Im sorry but this just validates the concerns I've seen.

No NPC scouts were brought on the mission (edit) until Zed arrived on the scene after the event ran longer than we had initially figured it would. You sent the C-P-F (Max, Corey, and Nat) ahead to check things over, and they went to the wrong warehouse entirely initially.

That is also not an excuse to threaten suicide over an event being postponed, and if you condone this, there's the door. I'd also like to point out you do not speak for the entire community and there are players who have made numerous complaints to me in DMs regarding the nature of her events. I saw it from her perspective and directly apologized to her for the lack of message and explained why.

Her event was intended to happen at a later date, as is the remainder of the arc with the Miller's. Nobody rushed you, either, I sat patiently for almost ten hours until three in the morning after you decided to step out of the event. If you're telling me that is me rushing you, I don't know what to tell you.

player of games · Oct 28, 2020

MrMischief2015 said
She only seemed to have guilt tripped you after being yelled at over the fact she was upset her event was canceled and announced without giving her a heads up. You are right this does make you look bad. And I hope Aza is okay ?‍ you guys just went into her without seeing it from HER perspective. People weren't angry over the number of the events or visions. People were upset due to how for two events it was a suicide mission dotted with explosives everywhere with little to no reward. Almost half the players that went to that warehouse were stuck in MedRP. With some of them being horribly maimed. All while the players were blamed for things going wrong. When the first NPC is running away and nobody could catch them. Then when it came down to having a plan made. We were rushed, and blamed for how poorly it went. For explosives not even mentioned in the 86/100 scout roll. Im sorry but this just validates the concerns I've seen.

you no longer get it...

MrMischief2015 · Oct 28, 2020

No scouts were brought to the mission? I'm referring to the scouts Zed sent hours before and had gotten a 86/100 roll. Those are the scouts im talking about. I just find it funny that these logs have been posted after Aza was forum banned so she can't explain herself.

And you telling me I know where the door is? And you wonder why people want to leave, and don't want to do events on this server anymore? MindGate, look in the mirror man. You are preforming the same behavior people are upset about, we spent two hours at Monroe and at the triage centre planning. And roughly 7 hours in combat. It was long enough for me to step away because of a Migraine, take a shower, eat something small. Take a 4 ish hour nap. And still got to experience and hour of combat when I felt well enough to come back.

Yet this post has nothing to do with me. It has to do with Aza, so please stop gaslighting me ? it only makes this situation worse when both sides come after each other like this. Notice how I said sides, because it's no longer a player concern. It seems to have evolved to 'Admin VS. Player.' And its unfortunate.

I also realize I don't speak for the entire community, but I still speak for a pretty big chunk of the active one. Please Stop the Gaslighting, stop blaming the player base when using a broken system that gives a bow a higher damage potential than a sniper rifle. Stop blaming the player base for being inherently careful and doing logical things that string out suicide missions where they may walk out losing a limb or their life to a small scavenging team.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

player of games · Oct 28, 2020

fellas (and whatnot) lets stop the accusatory stance
it just makes people defensive and that is not kosher
the admins are not evil
they are players too
they are our friends
lets all just relax

MrMischief2015 · Oct 28, 2020

My point also still stands. It may have been postponed but there seems to have been no prior notification to Aza about this. It seems to have been canceled without running it by her privately her event will need to be postponed for the time being. And when she tried to bring this up she was yelled at and ganged up on. When all she wanted to have was some respect. The logs speak for themselves. She wasn't in the wrong for asking for a little bit of respect. Just because everyone else goes through drama and striff, doesn't mean those who also are get to invalidate someone else's. We NEED to work together. We absolutely need to, but for that to happen we need to stop bickering. Stop pointing fingers, and LOOK at what damage has been done. Otherwise nobody is going to be left to do these events. Everyone will have left, because they are either afraid to speak out. Or they don't see the point in it, and as you said; "They know where the door is."

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