Corrupt a wish Page 2

Granted, but the goat is actually spliced with the genes of a Golden poison Frog thus exposing you to it's batrachotoxin and killing you.

I wish that all flys would disappear.

Granted, but it messes up the food chain and causes several other species to go extinct.

I wish to know the outcome of any action i decide on.

Granted, but your omniscience only has an accuracy of exactly 29.96%. Furthermore, your power has a static 5% chance of breaking the space-time continuum itself.

I wish to assemble an army of wasps.

Granted, but the wasps turn against you and start attacking you instead.

I wish I could kiss my girlfriend.

Granted. You kiss your girlfriend, but in the few seconds it takes to turn to her, she's grown a giant gray smelly hairy beard like an ol' goldiggin' prospector.

I wish I had a nice slice of cake.

Granted, but the cake itself is so delectable it transcends your consciousness into the next plane thus leaving your physical body a vegetable.

I wish for all men to be massive bodybuilders.

Granted, but they obsessively insist that they are all straight despite spending more than an hour in the showers together. But still. They're definitely straight. Totally. As a Ruler. A Shatter Resistant One.

I wish there were more actually good shows running on Netflix right now.

Granted, but Netflix jacks prices of the basic plan to 20 USD, the Standard to 30 USD, and the Premium to 45 USD

I wish I could have more guns.

Granted, but the guns were actually nerf guns.

I wish for peace.

Dop said

Granted, but the guns were actually nerf guns.

I wish for peace.

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Granted. Every living thing dies a la SCP-2935

I wish I liked my body.

Granted, but your body becomes a destructive obsession as you seek desperately to maintain it. You slowly begin to lose your humanity over the course of the next few years, and lose everything that made you special.

I wish to be a Centaur.

Zankio said

I wish to be a Centaur.

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granted, but your spine looks like this

enjoy the broken back

I wish I didn't have to wake up at 3am for classes

AlexDE12 said

granted, but your spine looks like this

enjoy the broken back

I wish I didn't have to wake up at 3am for classes

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Granted, you now have to wake up at 2am for classes.

I wish I was good at something.

Granted, but you're only pretty good at it and you now absolutely suck at everything else.

I wish I graduated college last year.

Granted but you got a useless dancing degree that won't help you get a practical job.

I wish that AC wasn't so expensive.

Anonymous said

Granted but you got a useless dancing degree that won't help you get a practical job.

I wish that AC wasn't so expensive.

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Granted, you moved to a place where the weather makes AC useless, and heat pumps are through the roof.

I wish for a better ending to Game of Thrones.

Granted, a steaming pile of crap, just sitting there, is televised instead of the last two seasons of the show.

I wish I had clearer skin.

Granted, everyone can now see the flesh beneath your skin now.

I wish for a protein shake.

Dop said

Granted, everyone can now see the flesh beneath your skin now.

I wish for a protein shake.

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Granted, but the shake consists of a random assortment of pulverized organs from countless different species.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but by default, you fly directly into the sun.

I wish I was a goose so I could torment people on the daily.